Our Journey of Parenthood: Welcoming Achilles

On 2nd April 2019, our son Achilles entered the world, bringing with him a loud, lively energy that we hadn’t quite anticipated. As a newborn, he was incredibly noisy and always hungry, a stark contrast to our first son, who was so peaceful that we had to wake him up to feed. With Achilles, sleepless nights quickly became the norm, and the adjustment was anything but easy. As first-time parents of a baby who slept soundly, navigating this new challenge with our second child was intense and overwhelming at times. At just six months old, we began to notice...

At  just six months old, Achilles wasn’t quite himself. Charmaine, with her strong instincts and unwavering intuition, kept telling me that something wasn’t right. Me, being who I am, thought, “He’ll be alright, he’s just under the weather, he’ll be fine.” But Charmaine refused to accept this, and I’m so incredibly grateful she didn’t. Trusting her gut, she decided to take action and look further into what was happening with Achilles, knowing that sometimes, a parent’s intuition can make all the difference.So, we took a trip to the hospital, and the nurse decided to check his vital stats. Within minutes, we were suddenly surrounded by nurses and doctors, and we was asked to leave the room. It was at that moment, as my heart grew heavy and I felt quite sick with worry, that I made a poor decision. I couldn’t stop thinking about how foolish I had been and how my choices had led to this situation. The weight of it all hit me hard, and it’s a moment that continues to remind me of the importance of staying calm and making sound decisions, even in the most stressful circumstances.When the doctor explained that he had bronchitis, my heart sank. The fear I felt was indescribable. Seeing him so tiny, hooked up to a drip, I was overwhelmed with guilt. How could I have been so careless? It was at that moment I realized I needed to change the way I thought about everything. Even now, I often think, "What if Charmaine had listened to me?" The thought alone is unbearable. As the days went by in the hospital, the doctors informed us that they needed to perform a lumbar puncture. We asked to be present during the procedure, but they responded that it would be too traumatic for us to witness. That response alone filled us with fear, but above all, we just wanted him to get better. The doctors went ahead with the procedure, and later we were told they had to do it twice. The sadness that Charmaine and I felt was overwhelming, and the guilt consumed me. After a week, he began to recover and was finally allowed to come home. Seeing his little smile again was such a relief. He was better, and our nightmare was finally over

Fast forward four years, and our son had started playschool. It was during this time we began noticing that, for his age, he wasn’t quite meeting developmental milestones. We observed unusual behaviors—like repetitive movements we later learned were called stimming—and a tendency to try eating inedible objects. He seemed unsettled, difficult to manage, and struggled in many areas. His speech was non-existent, his walking was unsteady (more like that of a two-year-old), and he often made strange sounds. Concerned, we turned to the internet for answers. To our surprise, every trait we read about seemed to align with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). While we suspected ASD might be the cause, we didn’t fully understand what it meant. Determined, we began researching as much as we could. We also shared our concerns with his teachers, who confirmed they had similar suspicions. That’s when we decided to act. We made countless phone calls, pushed for answers, and fought for a proper diagnosis. Finally, when he was five years old, we were invited to a clinic for an assessment. After several one-on-one sessions, we received the confirmation: our son was officially diagnosed as autistic. The road that followed wasn’t easy. The challenges we faced were, at times, overwhelming. His constant meltdowns, inability to communicate, and our own lack of understanding left us feeling lost and powerless. We didn’t know how to connect with him, and it felt like chaos. But with time—and the right support—we began to find our footing. Eventually, we were able to get him into a Special Educational Needs (SEN) school, and that was a turning point for all of us. There, we learned so much about ASD, his unique sensory needs, and how to better support him. Despite the endless paperwork, the judgmental stares from others, and the emotional rollercoaster, I can confidently say I’d do it all over again. The journey has made both Charmaine and me stronger—not just as people, but as a couple and as parents. Now, as he approaches his seventh birthday, we reflect on how far we’ve come. We’ve learned so much about him and his world, and we’re excited for what the future holds. ASD may have brought challenges, but it has also brought us closer as a family and taught us lessons we never expected